Sep 2, 2013

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Introductions Part 1

In the scope of the universe and all it encompasses it seems a silly thing to obsess over what to write in a first post. Do I just jump into what’s happening with school? Do I fist give the long rambling backstory about the various trails and tribulations of my life? Do I just post some cute pictures to draw you in and then hit you with the hard stuff later? How about I just use this as a spring board for introducing myself.

Hi. My name is Brie and I frequently over think shit. (Hi Brie)

Conversely, I oftentimes don’t think long enough about stuff like the words that come out of my mouth, or the food that goes in it.

I’ve always had a sense of self importance in terms of my potential impact on the world but had wandered a little in regards to execution.

In the last half dozen years I thought I had settled on being a exemplary early childhood educator with knowledge and respect in the field; I thought that I wouldn’t make a direct impact on our world, but indirectly through the minds I would mold. The quote I would always use to emphasis this point when explaining to others was “The goal is to plant trees under whose shade you do not expect to sit.” I still believe in that idea, that your actions should impact positively for your descendants, but I’ve come to startling realization about my aforementioned potential; I was totally selling myself short. Yes, teaching was (and is) an admirable and worthy goal, but those little voices in my head that knew it wasn’t right for me wouldn’t shut up. You see, my who life I’ve had that internal dialogue that may be familiar to some of you ladies (or gentlemen) out there –  the blindly accepted fact that math wasn’t for me, that it just wasn’t my thing, that I just wasn’t that good at it, that a more serious career just wasn’t in line with who I was, that it was all okay because I had other talents, and all those other bullshit excuses.

However, after spending a significant amount of time being awed by our extraterrestrial discoveries, wowed by the advances made in spaceflight, and jealous of all those smarty pants getting to do these things that amazed me, it was like a light switched on. I thought to ask myself honestly, “Why can’t you do that too?” Immediately I replied with all those old excuses from above (including a sillier one about how I was too old to start from scratch) but I was able to squash them outright.

I had a sudden drive that I had never really felt before, I had a goal and I just needed to figure out how to achieve it. I started researching the educational and career background of successful astronauts, I looked at schools and started to make academic plans.

Before, I was just fine pursuing my “dreams” half heartedly, but now there is a fire that won’t go out. I know that if I was going to go after this new dream with even a fraction of the passion that I feel for it then I have to dive in headfirst. This means dramatically changing what had been the shape of my life for the last several years.

But as Ron Swanson said,

ZPqZE

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