Jun 30, 2017

Posted by in Creative Writing | 0 Comments

Crash [Prose] Creative Writing 101 – Journal 2

Grade: A

Comments: “Wow, this is great! The use of second-person POV and present tense creates such immediacy, really throwing the reader into the experience. “

You shake and shudder one hundred times faster than the racing heartbeat currently throbbing in your ears.

Your right foot is pressing the pedal of the brake into the floor as if to try to fuse them as one.

There’s screaming coming from somewhere; is that you screaming?

Your eyes which had previously been blinking and darting around searching for stability, focus, first on your hands and their white knuckle grip on the steering wheel and then to the spider’s-web a foot in front of your face.

No, that’s not you screaming, but you start to scream now joining in the noise, not quite achieve a horror movie scream, but more of a panicked monotone “ahhh!”.

You release your grip and hesitantly reach up and realize that that’s not a spider’s-web dangling dangerously close to you, but actually the cracked and caved piece of laminated glass that used to be your windshield.

You somehow have the presence of mind to shift the stick into park, you even manage to turn the key to off. You’re starting to catch up to time; what the hell had happened?

Turning your head you see a figure on the ground to the left, moving and wailing, the source of the screams that are not your own. You recognize that it’s a young girl. The other, you think there were two? The other you can’t see.

You look around wildly for your phone and pull it out of the folded up sun visor above your head and with more steadiness than you actually feel you swipe across the unlock screen and open the call app.

Suddenly there’s someone at your side talking to you. What are they saying?

You press the pads of your fingers into the glass of the screen and three numbers that every child knows.

“9”, the woman is talking to you still.

“1”, she’s asking you a question.

“1”, you nod shakily assuming she’s asking if you’re alright. You might not actually be but you nod anyway.

The phone at your ear is dialing and you hear the other line ringing.

You try to climb out of the car through the door the questioning woman had opened, something stops you. Still holding the phone to your ear, still listening to the sound of the ringing, you unclip your seatbelt.

The nice woman, you decide, helps you out of the car still trying to talk to you. Looking around you see the two figures, one to the left, still screaming and now surrounded by tall dark haired man and young blond jogger, and one a couple yards in front of your car, motionless and being attended to by short haired woman in business suit and old woman with blankets.

Where did they come from? Why did they hit you? They didn’t hit you, you hit them of course, but how?

Your mind starts firing faster now, going through the last several minutes. You were driving, slowly, carefully, it was a school zone and the sun was in your eyes, your apple cider and croissant from Starbucks untouched waiting until the ease of the freeway.

But then, something happened, a thunk and a crash, and here you were.

The nice woman is rubbing your back still talking, she’s probably asking what happened. All you can do is horsely yell “why aren’t they answering!”, the call to 911 still ringing in your ear. Looking around you see the traffic of the two lane road stopped in either direction, the people from the cars closest are out and watching, or trying to help. Some neighbors, like the old woman with blankets, are running to and from their homes for supplies.
The nice woman puts her hand over yours and tells you that emergency vehicles are already on their way, you can stop calling. She helps you sit and slump against the side of your car which now has a dented hood, bumper, and shattered windshield – all stained with blood.

You call your, boyfriend? (Is that what he is to you?) You were leaving his house, this isn’t even your neighborhood, you had just kissed him good morning and good-bye. Why isn’t he answering?!

You call your work, it’s early, there won’t be anyone answering the phones yet, that’s supposed to be you this morning.

You dial your boss’s extension and leave a message, “I’ve been in an accident, I won’t be able to come to work”.

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